There are many myths which can especially affect male victims and survivors of sexual abuse and can be a barrier to accessing support.
At Onyx our ISVA team are aware of the impact these myths can have on victims and survivors. We actively challenge these myths through our media and campaign work.
Myth: Males can’t be sexually abused
Reality: Males can experience sexual abuse and violence. It can happen to anyone and is not related to size, strength or sexual orientation.
Myth: Males cannot be sexually abused by females
Reality: We know that females sexually abuse males.
The perpetrator of abuse can be anyone, It might be someone you know or a stranger. Whatever happened, you deserve support.
Myth: Being sexually abused will make you an abuser
Reality: The majority of males who have experienced abuse as a child or an adult will not go on to abuse others.
Myth: If you didn’t say ‘no’ then it wasn’t rape
Reality: Not saying ‘no’ is not the same as someone giving their consent. If someone seems unsure, stays quiet, moves away or doesn’t respond, they are not agreeing to sexual activity.
Myth: Only gay men and boys are sexually abused.
Reality: Being sexually abused or assaulted does not relate in any way to your sexuality or identifying gender and people can experience this regardless of their sexuality or identifying gender. If you have been sexually assaulted you deserve support.
Myth: Sexual abuse makes you gay.
Reality: Being sexually abused can make a victim/survivor question their sexual orientation. They can be especially worried if they had a physical reaction, for example had an erection, during the abuse. Research suggests that being abused does not impact sexual orientation although we do understand that survivors may have questions about this or are unsure about their identity as a result.
Myth: If he’d really been raped then it wouldn’t have taken her so long to say something.
Reality: For many people, experiencing rape or another form of sexual violence or abuse can be a very difficult thing to talk about – and it might be a long time before they feel able to. This can be for lots of different reasons. They might feel like they’ll be judged or blamed or not believed. Or they might be scared of their perpetrator or another person finding out.
Myth: Having a physical response to abuse means that it wasn’t really abuse.
Reality: Having a physical response to abuse does not mean that you wanted it or enjoyed the assault. Experiencing a physical reaction is a biological response and does not indicate anything about your sexual orientation or mean that you wanted it to happen.
This can be confusing particularly where the perpetrator uses this to minimise what happened and prevent victims/survivors from getting help.
Myth: If I was drinking or taking drugs, it was my fault.
Reality: If you had been taking drugs or were drunk, this does not give somebody the right or excuse to assault you. If a person decides to abuse you, it is not your fault and you are not to blame.
